Widowhood with calamitous cultural practices undermine SDGs 2030 - Nurse Latifat
Nigeria - "Look I don't subscribe to you keeping late nights, you know the insecurity problem is going from bad to worse, Kingsley please quit night crawling", Rose beseeched.
"WOMAN! It is not in your place to tell me when to go out or when to come in". Kingsley slurred and walked out on her.
"Dear Lord, please protect my husband and let him quit this night crawling, I don't know why he doesn't listen to me, he wasn't like this before, it all started when he met Phillips".
Rose was busy stocking up her shop when her phone rang.
"Hello".
"Yes? Who's is this?"
"I am a police officer, we found this phone on someone and one of the numbers he dialed recently was sweetheart, are you his wife?"
"Yes I am sir, where is he? What happened", Rose said in a trembling voice
"I am sorry madam, he died in a hotel, please meet us at After Life Morgue and .. ".
Rose fainted and her neighbors at the shop rushed her to the hospital where she regained consciousness and was taken to the village afterwards.
"God why me? I begged you to protect him, why did you take him away from me? How am I supposed to cope with three kids?" She asked her creator with scalding tears.
"Mummy why are you crying? Daddy will soon come, he said he would buy me a toy car", her Innocent two year old son assumed.
Her sister quickly took the kids to another room so they don't worsen their mother's psychological state. Rose and slumber were not in speaking terms, her life was totally shattered, she remembered ho she met Kingsley, how they got married, the children till the day she urged him to quit night crawling.
At the crack of dawn, her sister in-law barged into her room.
"Rose o ya come out".
"To do what?" The confused widow asked.
"What sort of question is that? To cry of course , come out sharp sharp", she ordered.
"I reject it in Jesus name, you want to humiliate me the more, the Lord didn't promise me tears this year, I am not crying".
"Seems you want it done the hard way", she dragged the poor widow outside. "O ya start crying", she pushed her, poor Rose like a withered flower stepped on a wood embedded with rusted nail, fresh tears blurred her eyes as she bled.
"So it will take a nail to make you cry ? Don't worry".
As if that wasn't enough, she was given the bath water of her husband's corpse.
"If truly you didn't kill my brother, drink this water", her brother in-law commanded.
"I only drink holy water and if you don't know I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that is because I eat and drink from the Lord".
"As for the holy water when you get to the church you will get it, as for the Lord you will also find him there, take it or you require some force?"
"My Lord is omnipotent and omnipresent , you find him everywhere not only in the church".
"Continue preaching, Chinedu! Emeka!"
"Yes papa", they both answered.
"We need to feed someone, hold her".
"Don't you dare come near," Rose threatened
Weak Rose who has not eaten anything struggled but couldn't match up with the men, they pushed after force feeding her like a toddler.
"Please I need to go to the hospital, my leg is paining me and with this poison you gave me I could end up with a running stomach".
"You are not leaving this house until you are done with the widowhood rites."
Sadly Rose gave up the ghost a month after her husband's death, her demise auto qualified her kids as orphans and they were used for child labour and trafficking.
International Widow's day is a global awareness day which takes place annually on 23rd of June, the day was launched by the United Nations in 2010 to raise awareness of violation human rightsas well as harmful cultural practices
that widows suffer in many countries following the death of their spouses.
The worst part is many women are left in poverty when their husband dies, in worse scenarios widows with or without children are denied of inheritance and land rights; they face far worse because some are evicted from their homes, ostracized and abused.
Asia and Africa has the worst approach to widowhood. The astonishing aspect is that women are also the gate keepers of these calamitous cultural practices.
Some of this practices apart from drinking bath water from the corpse and forcing the widow to cry includes shaving her hair, she's made to sit on bare floor, inheriting the widow by any of the deceased brothers, some even say the woman is a property and so property can't own property.
The effects of these inhumane treatment are numerous and goes beyond the widow herself, her children, the community and the society at large is also affected. Apart from the psychological damage the death of a spouse causes these cultural practices also adds more to the psychological trauma, sexually transmitted diseases, tetanus, depression, suicide, gastroenteritis, enteritis etc.
For the children and the society, when the children are abandoned, they engage in vices, become dregs of the society because they will want to survive by any means and this will boomerang. Now all these contributes to many problems we face as a country such as insecurity (kidnapping, armed robbery, banditry), cybercrime, increased mortality and morbidity rate just to mention a few. The most disturbing aspect is that these harmful cultural practices if not curbed will thwart the plans of achieving the Sustainable Development Goals(SDGs) in 2030.
In order to end this vicious cycle I suggest
that policies and resources that will empower widows should be developed and also allow them to have access to education, work, healthcare and lives devoid of violence as well as abuse. They should be allowed to create a life for themselves and by so doing some of the sustainable development goals such as No poverty, Zero hunger, Quality education, Reduced Inequalities, Sustainable cities and communities, Peace and Justice Strong Institutions, Decent work and Economic growth.
To all widows out there believe me when I say I feel your pain, I urge you to stay strong and don't give up, God will heal your wounded heart and dry your tears. Together let's achieve the sustainable development goals and say NO to all forms of harmful cultural practices.
#InternationalWidowsDay
#StopHarmfulCulturalPractices
Ajetunmobi Latifat
Aiyepe road, Sagamu, Ogun state.
prettapalomita@gmail.com
"WOMAN! It is not in your place to tell me when to go out or when to come in". Kingsley slurred and walked out on her.
"Dear Lord, please protect my husband and let him quit this night crawling, I don't know why he doesn't listen to me, he wasn't like this before, it all started when he met Phillips".
Rose was busy stocking up her shop when her phone rang.
"Hello".
"Yes? Who's is this?"
"I am a police officer, we found this phone on someone and one of the numbers he dialed recently was sweetheart, are you his wife?"
"Yes I am sir, where is he? What happened", Rose said in a trembling voice
"I am sorry madam, he died in a hotel, please meet us at After Life Morgue and .. ".
Rose fainted and her neighbors at the shop rushed her to the hospital where she regained consciousness and was taken to the village afterwards.
"God why me? I begged you to protect him, why did you take him away from me? How am I supposed to cope with three kids?" She asked her creator with scalding tears.
"Mummy why are you crying? Daddy will soon come, he said he would buy me a toy car", her Innocent two year old son assumed.
Her sister quickly took the kids to another room so they don't worsen their mother's psychological state. Rose and slumber were not in speaking terms, her life was totally shattered, she remembered ho she met Kingsley, how they got married, the children till the day she urged him to quit night crawling.
At the crack of dawn, her sister in-law barged into her room.
"Rose o ya come out".
"To do what?" The confused widow asked.
"What sort of question is that? To cry of course , come out sharp sharp", she ordered.
"I reject it in Jesus name, you want to humiliate me the more, the Lord didn't promise me tears this year, I am not crying".
"Seems you want it done the hard way", she dragged the poor widow outside. "O ya start crying", she pushed her, poor Rose like a withered flower stepped on a wood embedded with rusted nail, fresh tears blurred her eyes as she bled.
"So it will take a nail to make you cry ? Don't worry".
As if that wasn't enough, she was given the bath water of her husband's corpse.
"If truly you didn't kill my brother, drink this water", her brother in-law commanded.
"I only drink holy water and if you don't know I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that is because I eat and drink from the Lord".
"As for the holy water when you get to the church you will get it, as for the Lord you will also find him there, take it or you require some force?"
"My Lord is omnipotent and omnipresent , you find him everywhere not only in the church".
"Continue preaching, Chinedu! Emeka!"
"Yes papa", they both answered.
"We need to feed someone, hold her".
"Don't you dare come near," Rose threatened
Weak Rose who has not eaten anything struggled but couldn't match up with the men, they pushed after force feeding her like a toddler.
"Please I need to go to the hospital, my leg is paining me and with this poison you gave me I could end up with a running stomach".
"You are not leaving this house until you are done with the widowhood rites."
Sadly Rose gave up the ghost a month after her husband's death, her demise auto qualified her kids as orphans and they were used for child labour and trafficking.
International Widow's day is a global awareness day which takes place annually on 23rd of June, the day was launched by the United Nations in 2010 to raise awareness of violation human rightsas well as harmful cultural practices
that widows suffer in many countries following the death of their spouses.
The worst part is many women are left in poverty when their husband dies, in worse scenarios widows with or without children are denied of inheritance and land rights; they face far worse because some are evicted from their homes, ostracized and abused.
Asia and Africa has the worst approach to widowhood. The astonishing aspect is that women are also the gate keepers of these calamitous cultural practices.
Some of this practices apart from drinking bath water from the corpse and forcing the widow to cry includes shaving her hair, she's made to sit on bare floor, inheriting the widow by any of the deceased brothers, some even say the woman is a property and so property can't own property.
The effects of these inhumane treatment are numerous and goes beyond the widow herself, her children, the community and the society at large is also affected. Apart from the psychological damage the death of a spouse causes these cultural practices also adds more to the psychological trauma, sexually transmitted diseases, tetanus, depression, suicide, gastroenteritis, enteritis etc.
For the children and the society, when the children are abandoned, they engage in vices, become dregs of the society because they will want to survive by any means and this will boomerang. Now all these contributes to many problems we face as a country such as insecurity (kidnapping, armed robbery, banditry), cybercrime, increased mortality and morbidity rate just to mention a few. The most disturbing aspect is that these harmful cultural practices if not curbed will thwart the plans of achieving the Sustainable Development Goals(SDGs) in 2030.
In order to end this vicious cycle I suggest
that policies and resources that will empower widows should be developed and also allow them to have access to education, work, healthcare and lives devoid of violence as well as abuse. They should be allowed to create a life for themselves and by so doing some of the sustainable development goals such as No poverty, Zero hunger, Quality education, Reduced Inequalities, Sustainable cities and communities, Peace and Justice Strong Institutions, Decent work and Economic growth.
To all widows out there believe me when I say I feel your pain, I urge you to stay strong and don't give up, God will heal your wounded heart and dry your tears. Together let's achieve the sustainable development goals and say NO to all forms of harmful cultural practices.
#InternationalWidowsDay
#StopHarmfulCulturalPractices
Aiyepe road, Sagamu, Ogun state.
prettapalomita@gmail.com
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